life and other complications

bridal boudoir (live! nude! brides!)

yeah, this post isn't going to be nearly as salacious as it seems. but Iris' comments on my last Weddingbee post had me thinking about what moments you will and won't let your photographer and/or videographer capture. when my mom and i were first looking for wedding photographers, we checked out about, oh, a million web sites. after my mom checked out a few she called me quite frantically telling me i absolutely *had to* check out a certain web site. so i did. and i saw butts! naked bridal butts! for reals!

now, granted, the butts in question were very fine butt examples. but(t) still--they were butts! on the internet! for all to see!

so, then we went to meet with photographers and it was more of the same. buttocks and boobies and thongs, oh my! my mom actually asked one of the photographers if the brides in question knew that their private parts moments were part of the photog's portfolio for all to see. in a surprisingly honest moment, the photographer kind of shrugged and was all, "huh. i never really thought about it." ummm. yeah. so it was a little amusing but likely not as amusing for the brides who were, unbeknownst to them, on display.

when booking my photographer i was super clear that i was ok with bra shots, but no unclothed lower body pics were to be allowed (see: my fat ass). this was about as naked as i got in any of the photog's shots:

but check out the video guy in the shadows, which i've cleverly brightened for your viewing pleasure (yeah i'm no photoshop genius. sue me!) this guy apparently *did* capture the moment where i maneuvered into my dress and it made the rough cut of our video. happily, it was upper body only (score!) and it was actually perfect in context. (not so perfect--the awkward moment where we watched the rough video with our friends Mrs. A and EvilA and i wasn't exactly sure *how* much of me was about to be revealed).

but if i were a bit less chubs more confident in my body image, i think the semi-clothed bridal shots can be really great. searching around for some less-than-dressed brides produced some really scary images, but also this amazing photographer, Kelly Moore-- i'm not going to post her copyrighted pics but here's a link to her photoblog (AMAZING stuff, by the way) and a couple of examples of--to me--half-dressed done right:

sixth pic down: http://mooreblog.wordpress.com/2006/12/20/alayna-joe-2/
second and fifth pics: http://mooreblog.wordpress.com/2006/12/03/britney-jordan/
top row: http://mooreblog.wordpress.com/2006/04/14/wittejames-favorites/

yeah, besides taking stellar pics, it also seems that Kelly Moore specializes in gorgeous brides too... (that might explain the willingness to be captured candidly).

this one, by Bryan Morgan of New Zealand won an award, so i think it's ok to show. totally cute since everything worth seeing isn't facing the camera:

it's another story for the people on the other side of the window, though... 

so, what are your thoughts on a bit of bridal skin? is preserving you in the altogether on the--arguably--day you look your best the way to go? or is your to-be-Mr. the only one who ought to see you undressed? and would you feel differently if you had a female or male photographer?

would you try to escape the lens?

award winner Marianne Todd of Mississippi

and is turnabout fair play?

another award winner, this one by Michele Waite of Washington.

off the market...

we're just back from our minimoon and i don't have professional photos back yet, but here's one i grabbed from Magnolia's photo gallery.

more to come once i've gorged on turkey, stuffing and spinach dip and have somewhat reacclimated to a wedding planning free life. (it's almost like i don't remember what to do besides wedding planning. this ought to make my return to work a bit of a challenge!!)

i love you, tomorrow

you're only a dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy aaaaaaaaaaaawayyyyyyyyy!

sorry to channel Annie there, but a) my wedding is tomorrow and b) it *is* a hard-knock life.

this week has been madness! here's just a sampling of what i've done in the last seven days:

i finished out-of-town gift bags (more photos of the awesomeness inside to come *post*wedding):

finished programs, with the help of my sweatshop assembly line team: Jill, Joan, Liz and my mom

made rehearsal dinner table numbers and escort cards:

purchased my groom his gift:

freaked out about my lack of a bridal suite at my venue.  (though, i will admit, a two-bedroom suite at the Pierre fucking rocks seems to make up for it...)

we've also done about a million other things. all will be revealed when we return from our mini-moon in Antigua.

married life, here i come!

November Rain

alas, this post does not refer to the Guns 'N' Roses classic wedding tune (though, as a present to his bride to be, Thurston did take me to the GNR show at Continental Airlines Arena on Sunday night) but to the weather of this last week. yeah, so my wedding is two days (!!) away and all hell has broken loose there have been a couple of snafus to contend with.

say it with me: water damage.

yes, my venue, which also has guest rooms--guest rooms in which my bridal party and i were to get ready for the wedding, guest rooms to which lovely tea sandwiches and Balduccis mini lobster rolls were to be delivered, guest rooms in which i was to sleep the nights before and after my wedding--has suffered some water damage.  (mercifully) the public spaces are fine.  the guest rooms? not so fine. so now my wedding planners, my mom, the venue's catering manager are scrambling to find an "equal or better" substitute.

the thing is-- one of major perks (to me) about my venue was the Presidential Suite in which i would get ready.  two bedrooms, right *in* the venue (so getting from A to B on my wedding day was rendered a complete non-issue).  yes, the Pierre and the Sherry-Netherland are just steps away from my venue, and have lovely suites both.  but...

i'm still really, really bummed. i wanted a day of calm and ease. it's looking like drama may well be the order of the day, and i'd like to send it back!

the other thing is--shouldn't buildings be at least a *little* waterproof?!? especially when said buildings exist in climates *other* than Saharan ones. seriously. it *barely* rained this week yet somehow this damaged rooms? what the fuck fudge?

ok, i need to figure out how to not be angry! any ideas on how? or, in the alternative, any commiserating horror stories you want to share? (misery does hate to be alone, after all!)

it's not over 'til the married lady sings

last week, we found out that the closest parking lot to our wedding was a total rip off.  with that in mind, i made and sent out the following postcard to all our guests:
 

but the postcard served a dual purpose--

what you may not know is that if i were dating Eddie Murphy, and he had written a song about me, it might go something like this:

Girl, I can't understand it, why you want to hurt me,
After all the things I've done for you.
I buy you champagne and roses and diamonds on your finger
(Diamonds on your finger)
Still you hang out all night, what am I to do?

My girl wants to party all the time
Party all the time, party all the time.
My girl wants to party all the time, party all the time.
(She parties all the time)

that's because i *do* like to party all the time and, happily, so does Thurston.

it is for that reason we've decided to throw a karaoke after-party, immediately following our reception. some people call this "marry-oke" but i just call it awesome.  we're so excited to have our friends come out and take it down a notch at a dive-ish bar, with jalapeno poppers, mozzarella sticks, chicken fingers, etc.  all the low-brow, fun stuff we're not having at our fancy wedding.  (because, really, what's better than a bride in a white dress belting out 80s hair metal in a white dress?)

we're using LMS Entertainment as our karaoke DJ, and having worked with them at my 30th birthday, i know they are professional and great to deal with.  they have about 50,000 songs (really) to choose from, all on the DJ's laptop computer, which makes searching super easy.  plus, they bring their own A/V equipment if you need it (at my 30th, we were able to hook into the sound system as well as plasma displays at the awesome Mudville 9 Saloon*)--here they can use the bar's plasmas, but need to bring their own sound (for the face-melting rock i plan to provide).

this may make the Sunday morning brunch a bit more painful for all, but to hear me sing Ev'ry Rose Has Its Thorn (for the umpteenth time for some of my less fortunate friends) makes it all worth it.

so, what are your after-party thoughts? are you having one? would you want to go to one? is it "just too much"**?

A. the party never ought to end. after parties all the way.
B. yawn. five hours of a wedding is *plenty*.
C. i like karaoke but i also like sleep. it's a toss up!

---

* full disclosure-- my dad's high school pal owns Mudville 9, but that makes it no less awesome.  they have a great space for private parties and superfun food (the best chicken fingers in the city, i say).

** full disclosure #2: i had a "vanity" license plate in high school, which read "JST2MUCH". ouch. that still hurts to think about.

Calgon, take me away!

of late, i have been able to completely grasp the concept of the erstwhile Calgon ads of my youth. i have been overloaded with wedding stress over logistics (i.e. do we announce the afterparty with a postcard, or just have the band say so at the wedding?) and getting caught up in the minutiae.

happily, yesterday was a day of no stress at all, and awesomeness abounded. that's because Michael--the big brother i adopted for myself in college--took me on a "Lovey City Adventure" that was a 100% cure for all that ailed me.

see?? don't i look happy!??

he told me that we were having a "fancy" lunch and then we could do whatever fun bridal errands i had to do. he said not to worry about transportation...

at noon, Michael pulled up in a chauffeur driven Mercedes(!), and we were off to our "fancy" lunch on the Upper East Side.

the venue: La Goulue, where we had a wonderful French bistro meal (we each had French Onion soup to start, i had crabmeat salad for a main; he had steak frites, and we shared an upside down apple banana tarte for dessert.)
i also got drunk just un peu tipsy from my two glasses of sauvignon blanc. (i am so not an afternoon drinker!) then we exited the restaurant

to our waiting car, and we were off to Saks for a bridal fitting. tipsy though i was, the fitting went well, and the dress fit like glove (a bit of a tight glove, though, after the huge lunch i had!)

we then headed to the Wedding Library, to look at thank you stationery and i then realized that--universally--looking at stationery bores men. i drew this conclusion from Mike's heavy-lidded eyes. he blamed the wine at lunch but i have seen that look on the face of a sober Thurston. it's the "please no more paper" face. Shana (of the WL) and i pressed on though, and i am 99.9% sure i found the stationery i want to use for my wedded thank yous--they'll be flat cards by Julie Holcomb (like my invitations were because i am obsessed with the edging that they do on stationery) and will have a graphic element at top (TBD--if anyone has some great sources for clip art, please please please share it with me!!), "Lovey and Thurston Howell" at the bottom, and enamel edging as well.

after the Wedding Library, we headed (by chauffeur, naturally) to Barneys where i helped Michael choose an amazing tuxedo shirt

the shirt being worn by some model guy who is not Mike

(since he's an usher in our wedding he wanted to go all out for the occasion) as well as some formal shoes plus awesome Prada loafers, which i can fully endorse since T already has them.

the day finished with our driver Damian (of Town Car International):

picking T up at work and dropping us off at dance class (where we still plow haplessly through need to tweak our two-minute foxtrot--much to the detriment of our spirits and my toes). broken toes notwithstanding, this was one of the best days i've had leading up to the wedding (my shower/bachelorette being the other).

i think this should be a tradition, if it isn't already. leading up to the wedding all brides should have a random "Day of the Bride"* where a captive audience/compatriot makes errands and other chores fun.  who's with me??

---

*  car and driver optional. but i will say this, i could *so* get used to the chauffeured lifestyle (sorry, T!). it's just so much more convenient to exit a shop and have your driver ready at the curb. for reals. can one register for this???

ring around a napkin

ok, so which of the following napkin rings is the purtiest for our wedding tabletop?

A) Crate and Barrel's Luster Metal Twist Bead Napkin Rings (in Amber):

B) Linens & Things Beaded Cluster:

C) Bed Bath and Beyond Crystal Wreath:

basically our tables will have amber accents (candles, water goblets) and "burnished gold" (read: warm brown) table cloths, so...? now if only i can avoid the shipping charges on my order of 230 of these suckers. that would be the real coup!

close call

we just received the following email from our friend Barb: Thank you for not scheduling your wedding on the same date as TomKat, otherwise that could have been a logistical nightmare for me. Phew! ha!

torture

 

i'm off from work today (as i am for half of every week), which is usually awesome.

today, however, is a whole nother story. in the above-pictured box is my wedding band. i cannot open said box until Thurston gets home from work.

self-deprivation was never a strong suit of mine (see: my weight gain, my drunken college years, my closet full of shoes, ad infinitum) so not opening this package is actually causing me physical pain. woe is me!

is it traditional for the bride to see the wedding band before the wedding? T, at my father's suggestion (way to help a brother out, dad!), thinks i should get to try on the ring for fit, but should do so blindfolded so that i will be surprised on my wedding day.
i think i should see it *now* so i can take it all in, since during the wedding and reception i will be too overwhelmed to appreciate it! (the band is of T's collaborative design with our jeweler and, i hear*, is evocative of the e-ring they designed and will fit with it too):

what do you think??? that i should see it ASAP, no?

---

* my eavesdropping skills are not to be stepped to. as our jeweler is in LA, T has to talk to her via phone, so if i happen to break out the Whisper 2000, who can blame me?

split decision

so Thurston and i have a big decision to make.  how to structure our wedding. because the Metropolitan Club is such a large space, it allows many permutations of the rooms. now we just have to choose one.

• Option #1: or what i call "the one that won't confuse those of my guests ridiculously attached to the familiar basic" (i.e. what we fully expected when we booked the space, prior to our numbers blowing up and forcing consideration of the option # 2):
  • Pre-Ceremony Invitational: 1st Floor, Main Bar Room
  • Ceremony: 1st Floor, West Lounge
    
  • Cocktails: 1st Floor, the Great Hall
    
  • Dinner/Dancing: 3rd Floor, Main Dining Room
    

Pros: what i expected when i booked; more familiar to most guests; people who aren't dancing (for whatever reason age, lameass, infirmity, etc.) will still be in the "party" room; breaks between all the food
Cons: if people aren't dancing, the music will be quite loud and a conversation impediment with the band right there; depending on our numbers, the dinner/dance space could be a teensy bit tight (though not sardine tight, happily!)

• Option #2: a/k/a the "split": this is more interesting/novel option in that it's not the typical New York (or typical to me, anyway) set-up. this would entail having our dinner in one room (banquet style) with the dancing to follow (and also include the cake cutting/dessert course) in the adjoining room.
  • Pre-Ceremony Invitational: 1st Floor, Main Bar Room
  • Ceremony: 1st Floor, the Great Hall
  • Cocktails: 3rd Floor, Main Dining Room
  • Dinner: 1st Floor, West Lounge
  • Dancing: 1st Floor, the Great Hall

Pros: it's different than what people expect, hopefully in a good way; dinner will be really roomy and "civilized" (i.e. no breaks in the middle of food or announcements about "taking your seats for the first course"); people who aren't into dancing can still stay by their tables and be able to talk; dramatic entrance coming down the sweeping stairs into the transformed Great Hall
Cons: everyone eats right after cocktail hour (or as us Jews--and the Swedish Chef from the Muppets, to be fair--call it, the "smorgasbord"), which will have a LOT of food, thus, people may be too full to eat dinner; unfamiliar to most of my guests; acoustics in Great Hall are not ideal for a band (55' high ceiling will do that...); ceremony in Great Hall will be a bit tight (but ceremony is short, so...)

so what do i do?? for reference, the Main Dining Room and the West Lounge have identical dimensions. also, the Great Hall and West Lounge are adjoining, so if we do the split, the party room adjoins the banquet room.

What's the wedding set-up you're used to/prefer?
	Same room: Dinner and Dancing at once
	Same room: Dinner first (with or without cake course), then dancing
	Two rooms: Dinner first (with or without cake course), then dancing
Create Free Polls

and please let me know if you are from NYC or not, because i went to an amazing wedding in St. Louis, where the dancing followed the dinner (in the same room) and am wondering if the dinner/dance at once (like i am used to) is a regional thing. thanks for any thoughts at all!!!